dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
