No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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