When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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