Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
