Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
