is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
