I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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