i don't like sucking hair
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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