So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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