All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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