this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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