One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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