he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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