her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
