I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
