Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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