Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
