I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
