we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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