Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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