You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Im part way to drunk.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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