That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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