just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
