Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
