its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
