the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
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when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
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I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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