Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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