Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
