Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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