have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
