all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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