I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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