oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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