you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
