so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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