Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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