I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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