Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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