i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
