Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
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I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
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There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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