Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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