Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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