plz talk dirty to me
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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