soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I could fuck to npr.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
