so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I need to align my fucking chakras
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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