He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
