my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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