so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize