She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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