Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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