i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She told me I should be a condom model.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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