Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
whose parrot is this?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
