Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize