We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
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Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
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I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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