I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
