I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I stole a fireplace last night.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize