You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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