Quick, to the slutcave!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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