and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
my liver is dry heaving
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
