week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
