i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
