She's JV to your varsity
Where did you get a picture of my penis
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
