She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
