she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My breasts were aching with rage.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
