i barfeds in our rink
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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