i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize