Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
