Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
