You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
